1 00:00:06,666 --> 00:00:08,363 - Hi! I'm Patrick Star! 2 00:00:08,450 --> 00:00:11,366 And I live with my parents! 3 00:00:11,453 --> 00:00:13,934 Ow! This is my dad! 4 00:00:16,110 --> 00:00:19,548 This is my mom! 5 00:00:19,635 --> 00:00:22,072 This is my sister! She's shy. 6 00:00:22,159 --> 00:00:24,249 This is my grandpa! 7 00:00:24,336 --> 00:00:26,947 This is my room! 8 00:00:27,034 --> 00:00:29,906 And this... 9 00:00:29,993 --> 00:00:33,475 This is my show! 10 00:00:33,562 --> 00:00:35,216 [upbeat music] 11 00:00:39,046 --> 00:00:41,875 - [munches loudly] 12 00:00:43,790 --> 00:00:47,184 Good morning, and welcome to "Star Inaction News." 13 00:00:47,272 --> 00:00:48,969 In today's household news-- 14 00:00:49,056 --> 00:00:50,884 [grunts] Huh? 15 00:00:50,971 --> 00:00:54,017 Dad is stuck on top of the refrigerator again. 16 00:00:54,104 --> 00:00:56,890 - [whimpers] 17 00:00:56,977 --> 00:00:59,414 - Come on, Mr. Star. Jump! 18 00:00:59,501 --> 00:01:02,112 - Don't worry, Cecil! We'll catch you! 19 00:01:02,199 --> 00:01:05,594 - Uh-uh! It's scary! 20 00:01:05,681 --> 00:01:09,076 - A mysterious cookie jar theft has... 21 00:01:09,163 --> 00:01:10,120 [munches loudly] 22 00:01:10,207 --> 00:01:12,732 Rocked the Star household! 23 00:01:12,819 --> 00:01:13,472 Huh? 24 00:01:17,780 --> 00:01:21,915 And a laundry pile-up causes a clean underwear shortage! 25 00:01:22,002 --> 00:01:23,569 Hmm? 26 00:01:23,656 --> 00:01:25,266 [buzzes] Ooh. 27 00:01:25,353 --> 00:01:29,401 We have incoming breaking news! 28 00:01:29,488 --> 00:01:31,968 The upstairs bathtub drain is clogged! 29 00:01:32,055 --> 00:01:34,928 Already on the scene is our roving reporter, 30 00:01:35,015 --> 00:01:37,017 Patrick, uh... 31 00:01:37,104 --> 00:01:38,584 Stair! - Star! 32 00:01:38,671 --> 00:01:40,412 Patrick Star! 33 00:01:40,499 --> 00:01:43,980 - That's what I said! Snootrick Spar. 34 00:01:44,067 --> 00:01:45,547 Thanks, Patrick. 35 00:01:45,634 --> 00:01:48,420 First responders are tackling the problem! 36 00:01:52,380 --> 00:01:54,687 Whoa. - [grunts] 37 00:01:54,774 --> 00:01:57,603 This looks like a hairy situation. 38 00:01:57,690 --> 00:01:59,735 [grunts] 39 00:01:59,822 --> 00:02:02,172 - Ow! [grunts] 40 00:02:02,259 --> 00:02:05,611 - Oh, it would appear the clog is just an old coot. 41 00:02:05,698 --> 00:02:09,615 - I got lost on the way to the race track! 42 00:02:09,702 --> 00:02:12,966 [grunts] 43 00:02:13,053 --> 00:02:16,099 Out of my way, looky-loos! The derby's about to begin! 44 00:02:16,186 --> 00:02:18,406 Hyah! [neighs] 45 00:02:18,493 --> 00:02:20,365 - And now, we go live to the fourth race 46 00:02:20,452 --> 00:02:22,758 of the Coffee Pot derby! 47 00:02:22,845 --> 00:02:24,934 Take it away, Cecil. - Thanks, son! 48 00:02:25,021 --> 00:02:27,067 The seahorses are at the starting gate. 49 00:02:27,154 --> 00:02:28,721 And they're off! 50 00:02:28,808 --> 00:02:30,375 Friendly Barnacle has a fast start, 51 00:02:30,462 --> 00:02:32,507 but now, Coral Face Fanny takes the lead. 52 00:02:32,594 --> 00:02:34,422 But what's this? Coming up on the outside rail 53 00:02:34,509 --> 00:02:35,989 are Big Boy and the Little Wonder! 54 00:02:36,076 --> 00:02:39,601 - How does it feel to be distracted from the race? 55 00:02:39,688 --> 00:02:42,212 - Scram, you scandal monger! [grunts] 56 00:02:42,299 --> 00:02:45,433 - They're coming down the hallway, past the credenza. 57 00:02:45,520 --> 00:02:47,609 GrandPat takes the lead into the basement, 58 00:02:47,696 --> 00:02:50,307 around the boiler, and into the kitchen! 59 00:02:50,395 --> 00:02:52,919 - [panting] Ow, cramp! 60 00:02:53,006 --> 00:02:55,878 [both grunt] 61 00:02:55,965 --> 00:02:59,839 - What did I say about playing reporter inside of this house? 62 00:02:59,926 --> 00:03:02,363 Go outside and report in the street! 63 00:03:02,450 --> 00:03:03,886 It's safer. 64 00:03:03,973 --> 00:03:07,194 - Aw, now we have to find new news! 65 00:03:07,281 --> 00:03:10,415 - Well, Squidina, if you want to find a good scoop, 66 00:03:10,502 --> 00:03:12,765 you have to dig deep! 67 00:03:12,852 --> 00:03:14,027 [grunts] 68 00:03:14,114 --> 00:03:15,985 - Whoo-hoo! 69 00:03:16,072 --> 00:03:19,119 - [hums] 70 00:03:19,206 --> 00:03:20,903 [cackles] Bam! 71 00:03:20,990 --> 00:03:23,732 - And now, it's time for Geezer Gardening Tips! 72 00:03:23,819 --> 00:03:25,212 - Huh? Ow! 73 00:03:25,299 --> 00:03:27,301 - What you got growing, Granny? 74 00:03:27,388 --> 00:03:30,217 - Oh! [growls] 75 00:03:30,304 --> 00:03:35,048 I've nurtured these beautiful flowers from bulb to blossom, 76 00:03:35,135 --> 00:03:37,311 but I'm ripping 'em out 77 00:03:37,398 --> 00:03:41,620 and replacing them with pest-resistant plants... 78 00:03:41,707 --> 00:03:43,404 [cackles] 79 00:03:43,491 --> 00:03:46,320 That keep out pesky reporters. 80 00:03:46,407 --> 00:03:48,017 - Oh! - [giggles] 81 00:03:48,104 --> 00:03:51,325 Now that's how you get rid of pests! 82 00:03:51,412 --> 00:03:52,457 - Whoa! - [cackles] 83 00:03:52,544 --> 00:03:54,328 - Huh? - Ew! 84 00:03:54,415 --> 00:03:56,461 - [munches loudly, cackles] 85 00:03:56,548 --> 00:03:59,028 - [grunts] "Inaction News"! 86 00:03:59,115 --> 00:04:00,290 - Rolling your way! 87 00:04:00,377 --> 00:04:02,249 [both whimper shakily] 88 00:04:02,336 --> 00:04:04,294 [all grunt] 89 00:04:04,381 --> 00:04:05,905 - Pardon me, sir. 90 00:04:05,992 --> 00:04:08,821 What are your views of the shorts shortage? 91 00:04:08,908 --> 00:04:11,084 - Oh, I wish I could talk, Patrick, 92 00:04:11,171 --> 00:04:14,130 but I'm waiting for my first-ever driving lesson! 93 00:04:14,217 --> 00:04:15,218 [giggles] 94 00:04:15,305 --> 00:04:17,699 - Hello, SpongeBob. 95 00:04:17,786 --> 00:04:20,354 Are you ready for your first lesson? 96 00:04:20,441 --> 00:04:21,747 - Oh, yes, Mrs. Puff. 97 00:04:21,834 --> 00:04:25,881 I've memorized the entire handbook, 98 00:04:25,968 --> 00:04:28,014 from avoiding windshield wiper hypnosis 99 00:04:28,101 --> 00:04:31,496 to stifling a sneeze at a four-way stop. 100 00:04:31,583 --> 00:04:34,760 - This is the perfect opportunity for a ride-along! 101 00:04:34,847 --> 00:04:36,501 - [panting] Oopsie. 102 00:04:36,588 --> 00:04:38,198 - Excuse me. Press. 103 00:04:38,285 --> 00:04:40,243 - Oh, my. No. 104 00:04:40,330 --> 00:04:43,812 SpongeBob isn't licensed to carry passengers. 105 00:04:43,899 --> 00:04:47,729 - No problem. He can use my license! 106 00:04:49,862 --> 00:04:52,125 - Would you please just go? 107 00:04:52,212 --> 00:04:53,909 - You got it, Mrs. Puff! 108 00:04:53,996 --> 00:04:55,041 both: Whoa! - Whoo-hoo! 109 00:04:55,128 --> 00:04:56,433 - Ah! 110 00:04:56,521 --> 00:04:58,348 - [giggles] 111 00:04:58,435 --> 00:05:00,655 - So what are your thoughts on the current state 112 00:05:00,742 --> 00:05:02,614 of the autoboative industry? 113 00:05:02,701 --> 00:05:06,095 - I think I can best express myself through poetry. 114 00:05:06,182 --> 00:05:07,270 Ahem. 115 00:05:07,357 --> 00:05:09,664 ? Tires go round, engines go putt ? 116 00:05:09,751 --> 00:05:11,840 ? Fall out of the boat, and you'll land on your-- ? 117 00:05:11,927 --> 00:05:13,538 - Butt out, Patrick! 118 00:05:13,625 --> 00:05:16,541 You're distracting my student. 119 00:05:16,628 --> 00:05:17,977 - Mrs. Poofy! - [grunts] 120 00:05:18,064 --> 00:05:19,935 - Do you think we'll see an exciting boat crash? 121 00:05:20,022 --> 00:05:23,156 - I'm afraid we'll be in a boat crash! 122 00:05:23,243 --> 00:05:25,767 - Oh, I'll need a better angle for that. 123 00:05:25,854 --> 00:05:29,379 - [gasps] Have you lost your mind? 124 00:05:29,466 --> 00:05:32,948 - Don't worry. I have my seat belt on. 125 00:05:33,035 --> 00:05:34,950 - You're blocking the driver's view. 126 00:05:35,037 --> 00:05:37,518 - It's okay. I can see around her. 127 00:05:37,605 --> 00:05:40,652 [groans] 128 00:05:40,739 --> 00:05:43,480 Ouch! Eye cramp! 129 00:05:43,568 --> 00:05:45,395 all: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! 130 00:05:45,482 --> 00:05:48,181 [all screaming] 131 00:05:48,268 --> 00:05:51,445 - And the pack pushes past the Porous Peril 132 00:05:51,532 --> 00:05:53,142 into the straightaway! 133 00:05:53,229 --> 00:05:55,971 [all scream] 134 00:05:59,279 --> 00:06:00,846 - [screams] 135 00:06:00,933 --> 00:06:03,239 Hit the brakes! 136 00:06:03,326 --> 00:06:05,111 - If you say so. 137 00:06:05,198 --> 00:06:06,155 [grunts] 138 00:06:06,242 --> 00:06:08,157 [tires squeal] 139 00:06:10,638 --> 00:06:11,639 - [sighs in relief] 140 00:06:15,164 --> 00:06:17,732 That's it! 141 00:06:17,819 --> 00:06:19,081 [both grunt] - Whoa! 142 00:06:22,084 --> 00:06:23,477 How'd I do, Mrs. Puff? 143 00:06:23,564 --> 00:06:24,826 - [sighs] 144 00:06:24,913 --> 00:06:28,787 Well, that was lesson number one. 145 00:06:28,874 --> 00:06:31,790 Next week, lesson number one. 146 00:06:34,227 --> 00:06:36,708 - [growls] 147 00:06:36,795 --> 00:06:39,580 - Hey! - Ooh. 148 00:06:39,667 --> 00:06:42,017 That guy must be a celebrity! 149 00:06:42,104 --> 00:06:43,976 He covered his face with a ski mask 150 00:06:44,063 --> 00:06:46,500 so he won't be noticed by pepperoni! 151 00:06:46,587 --> 00:06:48,458 - You mean paparazzi. 152 00:06:48,545 --> 00:06:49,982 - Gesundheit! 153 00:06:50,069 --> 00:06:53,681 It's time for Creeping Up on Famous People! 154 00:06:53,768 --> 00:06:55,291 - Mind if I borrow this? 155 00:06:55,378 --> 00:06:57,642 - [babbles] 156 00:06:57,729 --> 00:06:59,644 - [mumbles excitedly] Huh? 157 00:06:59,731 --> 00:07:01,210 - This is a stick-up! 158 00:07:01,297 --> 00:07:04,953 Don't do nothin' stupid! This diaper is stinky! 159 00:07:05,040 --> 00:07:07,173 - [gasps] Don't aim that thing at me! 160 00:07:07,260 --> 00:07:09,697 - Boop! Patrick Star with "Inaction News"! 161 00:07:09,784 --> 00:07:13,179 The public wants to know the man behind the baby. 162 00:07:13,266 --> 00:07:17,139 - Whoa, no one's ever asked me about me before. 163 00:07:17,226 --> 00:07:20,360 My name is Tony Tuna. I'm a Capricorn. 164 00:07:20,447 --> 00:07:22,579 And I like taking candy from babies. 165 00:07:22,667 --> 00:07:24,494 - Candy? - Thank you. 166 00:07:24,581 --> 00:07:26,975 - How exciting! 167 00:07:27,062 --> 00:07:29,238 Can we talk about your love life? 168 00:07:29,325 --> 00:07:31,327 Are you seeing anybody? 169 00:07:31,414 --> 00:07:33,939 - I see my parole officer every week. 170 00:07:34,026 --> 00:07:36,028 - Can we just move this robbery along? 171 00:07:36,115 --> 00:07:37,986 I got a business to run! 172 00:07:38,073 --> 00:07:39,684 - Uh, hold this a minute. 173 00:07:39,771 --> 00:07:42,077 [hums] Thank you. 174 00:07:42,164 --> 00:07:43,992 There. [chuckles] 175 00:07:44,079 --> 00:07:45,341 - Just a sec. 176 00:07:45,428 --> 00:07:47,300 One Krabby Patty to go, please. 177 00:07:47,387 --> 00:07:50,477 - This one's on me. - Ooh! 178 00:07:50,564 --> 00:07:53,436 - Mmm! - Thank you! Come again! 179 00:07:53,523 --> 00:07:55,525 - [chuckles] 180 00:07:55,612 --> 00:07:57,440 - [burps] - Ooh. 181 00:07:57,527 --> 00:08:00,443 - [babbles] 182 00:08:00,530 --> 00:08:03,403 - Hey, you'd make a great flunky. 183 00:08:03,490 --> 00:08:07,233 - Huh, you're telling me! I've flunked everything. 184 00:08:10,192 --> 00:08:12,238 - [whistles] 185 00:08:12,325 --> 00:08:14,457 [both grunt] 186 00:08:14,544 --> 00:08:16,329 [both panting] 187 00:08:16,416 --> 00:08:18,810 - Don't forget to start the meter! 188 00:08:18,897 --> 00:08:21,987 [sirens wailing] 189 00:08:22,074 --> 00:08:26,556 - Wow! A police escort? You must be super famous! 190 00:08:26,643 --> 00:08:30,082 - Well, I have been getting a lot of exposure lately. 191 00:08:30,169 --> 00:08:32,258 [quietly] I gotta ditch these cops! 192 00:08:32,345 --> 00:08:35,914 - I get ya! You want some privacy! 193 00:08:36,001 --> 00:08:38,003 - Whoa! - I know just the place! 194 00:08:38,090 --> 00:08:40,135 [jaunty elevator music] 195 00:08:40,222 --> 00:08:42,181 [sirens wailing] 196 00:08:48,187 --> 00:08:50,842 - Welcome to my secret hideout. 197 00:08:50,929 --> 00:08:52,365 - We're coming to you live 198 00:08:52,452 --> 00:08:55,237 as we snoop around a celebrity's crib! 199 00:08:55,324 --> 00:08:58,806 - Whoa! 200 00:08:58,893 --> 00:09:02,375 - [muffled laughter] - Ooh! Tres shabby chic. 201 00:09:02,462 --> 00:09:04,943 [aggressive knocks on door] 202 00:09:05,030 --> 00:09:07,772 - Take cover! It's gotta be the cops! 203 00:09:07,859 --> 00:09:12,515 - "Inaction News" update! Star reporter answers a door! 204 00:09:12,602 --> 00:09:16,693 - Perch Perkins here with a "Bikini Bottom News" exclusive. 205 00:09:16,781 --> 00:09:19,653 Your intrepid reporter has tracked the infamous Tony Tuna 206 00:09:19,740 --> 00:09:21,655 to his clandestine hideout. 207 00:09:21,742 --> 00:09:23,222 - Hey! - Huh? 208 00:09:23,309 --> 00:09:26,138 - This is my celebrity interview! 209 00:09:26,225 --> 00:09:29,271 - This isn't some frivolous celebrity puff piece! 210 00:09:29,358 --> 00:09:30,925 It's a hard-hitting crime report! 211 00:09:31,012 --> 00:09:33,145 - Celebrity news! - Crime report! 212 00:09:33,232 --> 00:09:34,624 - Celebrity news! 213 00:09:34,711 --> 00:09:36,017 - Crime report! 214 00:09:36,104 --> 00:09:39,281 - Ha-ha! En guard, scoop stealer! 215 00:09:39,368 --> 00:09:42,197 - Have at thee, gossip varlet! 216 00:09:42,284 --> 00:09:44,286 [both grunt] 217 00:09:44,373 --> 00:09:45,984 - I gotta get outta here before... 218 00:09:46,071 --> 00:09:48,464 [sirens wailing] 219 00:09:48,551 --> 00:09:51,685 [all growl] 220 00:09:51,772 --> 00:09:54,383 Johnny Law shows up. 221 00:09:54,470 --> 00:09:57,386 - Okay, guys. hold hands. 222 00:09:57,473 --> 00:09:59,127 [all growl] 223 00:09:59,214 --> 00:10:02,522 Come on out! We have you surrounded! 224 00:10:02,609 --> 00:10:06,221 - Oh, no! Not the dreaded daisy chain! 225 00:10:06,308 --> 00:10:11,009 Huh, if I only had some stupid saps to take the fall for me. 226 00:10:11,096 --> 00:10:12,445 - [panting] - Huh? 227 00:10:12,532 --> 00:10:15,883 Oh. [evil laughter] 228 00:10:15,970 --> 00:10:18,320 Sappy to meet you! 229 00:10:18,407 --> 00:10:20,453 - Oh! 230 00:10:20,540 --> 00:10:23,021 - [grunts] Sappy birthday! - Huh? Ah! 231 00:10:23,108 --> 00:10:25,284 - Have a nice sap. 232 00:10:25,371 --> 00:10:27,982 Mind the sap. - [giggles] 233 00:10:28,069 --> 00:10:30,245 - Hey! Don't push the press! 234 00:10:30,332 --> 00:10:31,638 - Huh? 235 00:10:31,725 --> 00:10:34,075 [all grunt, gasp] 236 00:10:34,162 --> 00:10:36,295 - You're all under arrest! 237 00:10:36,382 --> 00:10:39,211 - Hey, I'm no crook! I'm a reporter! 238 00:10:39,298 --> 00:10:41,822 - This just in, Perch Perkins arrested! 239 00:10:41,909 --> 00:10:43,432 Film at 11:00. 240 00:10:43,519 --> 00:10:46,958 - We've had complaints of reporters harassing citizens! 241 00:10:47,045 --> 00:10:50,091 We're taking everyone in for questioning! 242 00:10:50,178 --> 00:10:52,528 [all grunt] - You're interviewing me? 243 00:10:52,615 --> 00:10:55,227 All right! I'm gonna be on the news! 244 00:10:55,314 --> 00:10:58,143 - [grunts] 245 00:10:58,230 --> 00:11:00,014 - What's your favorite donut flavor? 246 00:11:00,101 --> 00:11:02,016 Glazed or sprinkles? 247 00:11:02,103 --> 00:11:03,844 [both grunt] 248 00:11:03,931 --> 00:11:06,064 - And that wraps up the crime report. 249 00:11:06,151 --> 00:11:07,413 [whinnying] Huh? What's this? 250 00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:09,937 - [grunts] 251 00:11:10,024 --> 00:11:12,418 Ha! Whoo! 252 00:11:12,505 --> 00:11:14,159 - GrandPat coming around the turn, 253 00:11:14,246 --> 00:11:16,204 gill and gill with Coral Face Fanny! 254 00:11:16,291 --> 00:11:18,903 And GrandPat wins by a nose! 255 00:11:21,688 --> 00:11:25,474 - Welcome to "The Patrick Show" mid-season finale! 256 00:11:25,561 --> 00:11:29,696 I'm Perch Perkins, coming to you live from the pink carpet! 257 00:11:29,783 --> 00:11:32,351 Here come the stars now! 258 00:11:32,438 --> 00:11:33,743 [all grunt] 259 00:11:33,830 --> 00:11:36,398 Patrick and Squidina Star, that is. 260 00:11:36,485 --> 00:11:38,444 [grunts] 261 00:11:38,531 --> 00:11:40,185 Guys, tonight, all your fans 262 00:11:40,272 --> 00:11:42,448 are itching to know just one thing: 263 00:11:42,535 --> 00:11:45,233 who are you wearing? 264 00:11:45,320 --> 00:11:47,627 - I'm wearing SpongeBob's underpants. 265 00:11:47,714 --> 00:11:50,021 [chuckles 266 00:11:50,108 --> 00:11:53,807 - And I'm wearing SpongeBob! 267 00:11:53,894 --> 00:11:56,679 - I'm haute couture. [giggles] 268 00:11:58,290 --> 00:11:59,160 [all gasp] 269 00:11:59,247 --> 00:12:02,163 [hum] 270 00:12:06,733 --> 00:12:07,603 - Oh! - Huh? 271 00:12:07,690 --> 00:12:10,171 [all grunt] 272 00:12:10,258 --> 00:12:14,871 - And now, everyone's favorite silly siblings, 273 00:12:14,959 --> 00:12:18,223 Patrick and Squidina! 274 00:12:18,310 --> 00:12:19,920 [both grunt] 275 00:12:20,007 --> 00:12:21,966 - What? [both hum] 276 00:12:22,053 --> 00:12:24,925 [cheers and applause] 277 00:12:27,275 --> 00:12:29,538 - You know, Squidina, 278 00:12:29,625 --> 00:12:34,761 I can't believe it's been a whole mid-season already! 279 00:12:34,848 --> 00:12:36,893 - I can't either, big brother, 280 00:12:36,981 --> 00:12:39,679 but I'd like to give a shout-out to our allowance 281 00:12:39,766 --> 00:12:41,855 for making this show possible. 282 00:12:41,942 --> 00:12:45,554 [cheers and applause] 283 00:12:45,641 --> 00:12:48,949 - And don't forget, sis, coming up later, 284 00:12:49,036 --> 00:12:52,474 we have a big, surprise celebrity guest! 285 00:12:52,561 --> 00:12:55,521 all: Ooh! 286 00:12:55,608 --> 00:12:56,696 both: Whoa! 287 00:12:56,783 --> 00:12:58,698 - This is so cool, Patrick. 288 00:12:58,785 --> 00:13:01,831 Why did we come all the way up here to the moon? 289 00:13:01,918 --> 00:13:04,443 To explore and collect samples? 290 00:13:04,530 --> 00:13:07,446 - No, I had to fart. 291 00:13:07,533 --> 00:13:08,621 [grunts] 292 00:13:08,708 --> 00:13:10,753 [laughter] - Huh? 293 00:13:10,840 --> 00:13:13,495 - That'll teach you to tell stinky jokes! 294 00:13:13,582 --> 00:13:15,062 - What a shame. 295 00:13:15,149 --> 00:13:18,196 "The Patrick Show" has really gone downhill 296 00:13:18,283 --> 00:13:20,676 since the first three episodes. 297 00:13:20,763 --> 00:13:22,461 all: Aww. 298 00:13:22,548 --> 00:13:25,246 - Looks like it's time for a showstopper! 299 00:13:25,333 --> 00:13:27,379 - Okay. You asked for it! 300 00:13:27,466 --> 00:13:31,687 Here's Bunny Star and her trained tattoos! 301 00:13:31,774 --> 00:13:33,341 [both giggle] 302 00:13:33,428 --> 00:13:34,690 - [laughs haughtily] 303 00:13:34,777 --> 00:13:37,780 [hums] [laughter] 304 00:13:37,867 --> 00:13:38,999 [upbeat music] 305 00:13:39,086 --> 00:13:41,262 - So, you come here often? 306 00:13:41,349 --> 00:13:42,742 - All the time. 307 00:13:42,829 --> 00:13:45,875 I'm stuck here just like you, idiot. 308 00:13:45,962 --> 00:13:47,616 - Whoo! Whoo! [both grunt] 309 00:13:47,703 --> 00:13:49,444 Coochie-coochie-coo! 310 00:13:49,531 --> 00:13:50,924 [gasps] Oops! 311 00:13:51,011 --> 00:13:52,186 - Ew! 312 00:13:52,273 --> 00:13:54,188 all: Yay! We are free! 313 00:13:54,275 --> 00:13:55,972 - I'm free! Yeah! 314 00:13:56,060 --> 00:13:57,800 [wheels skidding] 315 00:13:57,887 --> 00:14:00,542 - [laughs] 316 00:14:00,629 --> 00:14:02,718 Oops! [cheers and applause] 317 00:14:02,805 --> 00:14:06,548 I'm okay! 318 00:14:06,635 --> 00:14:09,508 - And now, Slappy's Poem Corner. 319 00:14:11,771 --> 00:14:15,340 - ? How do I smell thee? Let me count the ways ? 320 00:14:15,427 --> 00:14:18,256 ? Whether it's funky or just kind of ripe ? 321 00:14:18,343 --> 00:14:21,607 ? Everything stinks and decays ? 322 00:14:21,694 --> 00:14:24,740 - Just like this show! [laughter] 323 00:14:24,827 --> 00:14:26,916 - Mmm! 324 00:14:27,003 --> 00:14:31,704 [inhales deeply] I like your smell. 325 00:14:31,791 --> 00:14:34,228 - Really? - It's revolting. 326 00:14:34,315 --> 00:14:36,100 [both giggle] 327 00:14:36,187 --> 00:14:39,581 - Aw! Mmm. 328 00:14:39,668 --> 00:14:41,670 [both gag] 329 00:14:41,757 --> 00:14:44,499 - I told you this show stinks! 330 00:14:44,586 --> 00:14:46,849 [laughter] 331 00:14:46,936 --> 00:14:50,114 - Hey, Squidina! - Yeah, Pearl? 332 00:14:50,201 --> 00:14:53,639 - Can you keep a secret? - Ooh, I sure can! 333 00:14:53,726 --> 00:14:55,684 - Good! So can I. 334 00:14:55,771 --> 00:14:58,905 - [growls] [laughter] 335 00:14:58,992 --> 00:15:03,039 - Oh, Flying Dutchman? - Yes, my dear? 336 00:15:03,127 --> 00:15:05,825 - Why were you reading the obituaries this morning? 337 00:15:05,912 --> 00:15:08,610 - Just checking to see who's single! 338 00:15:08,697 --> 00:15:10,917 [both scat, grunt] 339 00:15:11,004 --> 00:15:12,614 [both laugh] 340 00:15:12,701 --> 00:15:15,139 - Huh? - Boo! 341 00:15:15,226 --> 00:15:17,880 Ya haunted hucksters! - Boo! 342 00:15:17,967 --> 00:15:20,144 - Today's magic word is-- 343 00:15:20,231 --> 00:15:21,536 [grunts] - Don't say it! 344 00:15:21,623 --> 00:15:23,669 - Today's magic word is-- 345 00:15:23,756 --> 00:15:25,061 [grunts] - Don't say it! 346 00:15:25,149 --> 00:15:27,281 - Today's magic word is-- 347 00:15:27,368 --> 00:15:29,675 [grunts] - Don't say it! 348 00:15:29,762 --> 00:15:31,633 - Explosion! 349 00:15:31,720 --> 00:15:33,548 - [grunts] 350 00:15:33,635 --> 00:15:36,072 I told him not to say it. 351 00:15:36,160 --> 00:15:39,641 - ? Tinkle ? - [panting] 352 00:15:39,728 --> 00:15:42,122 - ? That's Tinkle ? 353 00:15:42,209 --> 00:15:44,646 - [barks] - What is it, boy? 354 00:15:44,733 --> 00:15:46,822 Did somebody fall in the well? 355 00:15:46,909 --> 00:15:49,738 - [chomps] - Ow! 356 00:15:49,825 --> 00:15:51,871 [snap] My leg! 357 00:15:51,958 --> 00:15:54,265 - [barks] - What is it, boy? 358 00:15:54,352 --> 00:15:56,092 Did someone fall in the well? 359 00:15:56,180 --> 00:15:59,139 - [chomp]s - Ouch! Ow! 360 00:15:59,226 --> 00:16:02,273 Oh, me carapace. 361 00:16:02,360 --> 00:16:05,580 - [barks] 362 00:16:05,667 --> 00:16:08,844 - What is it, boy? Did someone fall in the well? 363 00:16:08,931 --> 00:16:09,932 - [growls] 364 00:16:10,019 --> 00:16:10,542 [TV static drones] 365 00:16:10,629 --> 00:16:12,761 - [hums] 366 00:16:12,848 --> 00:16:14,023 - You're on next, Pat! 367 00:16:14,110 --> 00:16:17,026 all: I'm ready to sing! 368 00:16:17,113 --> 00:16:20,291 - I'm sorry. I meant Caveman Patrick. 369 00:16:20,378 --> 00:16:22,075 - How come he gets to go next? 370 00:16:22,162 --> 00:16:23,946 [all clamoring] 371 00:16:24,033 --> 00:16:26,906 - Forget it! You're all fired! 372 00:16:26,993 --> 00:16:28,821 Bring in the dancing Patricks! 373 00:16:28,908 --> 00:16:30,475 [all grunt] - Ow! 374 00:16:30,562 --> 00:16:32,085 - [laughs] 375 00:16:32,172 --> 00:16:34,914 - Ow! - Saut�! 376 00:16:35,001 --> 00:16:38,657 - What did the electric general say to his battery army? 377 00:16:38,744 --> 00:16:41,225 - Charge! [laughter] 378 00:16:41,312 --> 00:16:43,705 - [grunts] 379 00:16:43,792 --> 00:16:49,145 - Remember to stay turned for our special celebrity guest. 380 00:16:49,233 --> 00:16:50,756 [laughter] [TV static drones] 381 00:16:50,843 --> 00:16:52,453 - Oh, wow, honey. 382 00:16:52,540 --> 00:16:56,588 I never thought our son would go so far! 383 00:16:56,675 --> 00:16:59,939 - Yeah. Now let's see how far our daughter goes. 384 00:17:00,026 --> 00:17:02,202 [both grunt] 385 00:17:02,289 --> 00:17:04,030 [crash] - Uh... 386 00:17:04,117 --> 00:17:06,946 I'm so proud of them. 387 00:17:07,033 --> 00:17:12,212 all: Guess what me thinking! 388 00:17:12,299 --> 00:17:14,345 - We play game! [ding] 389 00:17:14,432 --> 00:17:17,826 You! Guess what me thinking! 390 00:17:17,913 --> 00:17:20,351 [growls] 391 00:17:20,438 --> 00:17:21,961 - What that? 392 00:17:22,048 --> 00:17:24,355 Is food? No. 393 00:17:24,442 --> 00:17:26,226 Is mud? No. 394 00:17:26,313 --> 00:17:30,317 Is subatomic nuclei? No. 395 00:17:30,404 --> 00:17:34,800 If pressed to guess, me say snakes! 396 00:17:34,887 --> 00:17:36,671 Snakes! 397 00:17:36,758 --> 00:17:38,369 - Is correct! 398 00:17:38,456 --> 00:17:40,022 - I win! 399 00:17:40,109 --> 00:17:42,155 - [munches shrilly] 400 00:17:42,242 --> 00:17:44,113 - [munches loudly] 401 00:17:44,200 --> 00:17:48,248 - Uh, you win? 402 00:17:48,335 --> 00:17:50,163 - I love you, Antoinette, 403 00:17:50,250 --> 00:17:54,385 like the fluttering sea-fly loves the morning's first dung. 404 00:17:54,472 --> 00:17:58,519 - Oh, Louis, you know I can't resist poetry. 405 00:17:58,606 --> 00:18:01,696 all: Aww. 406 00:18:01,783 --> 00:18:06,440 - Hey, Mr. Star, you still owe me five bucks for newspapers. 407 00:18:06,527 --> 00:18:08,703 - The check is in the mail, kid! 408 00:18:08,790 --> 00:18:11,315 - Give me my money, you cheap-o! 409 00:18:15,101 --> 00:18:17,233 - Fresh! 410 00:18:17,321 --> 00:18:20,628 [laughter and applause] 411 00:18:20,715 --> 00:18:22,500 - [grunts] 412 00:18:22,587 --> 00:18:24,676 I can't wait anymore, Squidina! 413 00:18:24,763 --> 00:18:27,026 When are we gonna reveal our big celebrity guest? 414 00:18:27,113 --> 00:18:28,549 all: Ooh! 415 00:18:28,636 --> 00:18:31,160 - But that's our finale's finale. 416 00:18:31,247 --> 00:18:32,858 We can't do that yet! 417 00:18:32,945 --> 00:18:35,251 all: Aww! 418 00:18:35,339 --> 00:18:37,602 - Message for Patrick Star. 419 00:18:37,689 --> 00:18:39,560 - Huh? Wow! 420 00:18:39,647 --> 00:18:42,781 It says here I finally passed my clown exam! 421 00:18:42,868 --> 00:18:45,000 [laughter] 422 00:18:45,087 --> 00:18:47,481 I'm a clown now! 423 00:18:47,568 --> 00:18:50,354 - Congrats, big brother! I love clowns! 424 00:18:50,441 --> 00:18:53,444 [grunts, growls] [laughter] 425 00:18:53,531 --> 00:18:56,534 - Message for Squidina. 426 00:18:56,621 --> 00:18:58,666 - Huh? What a coincidence! 427 00:18:58,753 --> 00:19:02,801 I just passed my evil ventriloquist dummy exam! 428 00:19:02,888 --> 00:19:07,022 [grunts] 429 00:19:07,109 --> 00:19:09,024 all: Oh! Ooh! 430 00:19:09,111 --> 00:19:10,983 - Uh-oh. 431 00:19:11,070 --> 00:19:14,160 [screams] - [evil laughter] 432 00:19:14,247 --> 00:19:15,944 - Boo! 433 00:19:16,031 --> 00:19:19,034 Clowns aren't funny! I can't believe we're related! 434 00:19:19,121 --> 00:19:20,819 - Boo to you! 435 00:19:20,906 --> 00:19:24,213 I love evil ventriloquist dummies, you dummy! 436 00:19:24,300 --> 00:19:26,781 - So it's mutiny, eh? 437 00:19:26,868 --> 00:19:30,568 Okay, then. I challenge you to an air battle! 438 00:19:30,655 --> 00:19:33,092 - Well, flap away, Flabby! 439 00:19:33,179 --> 00:19:34,267 Huh! - [growls] 440 00:19:34,354 --> 00:19:37,531 - [panting] 441 00:19:39,272 --> 00:19:41,405 [kettles whistle] 442 00:19:41,492 --> 00:19:44,495 [laughter and cheers] 443 00:19:44,582 --> 00:19:46,845 - How 'bout some coffee with that tea? 444 00:19:46,932 --> 00:19:48,455 [cackles] 445 00:19:48,542 --> 00:19:50,979 - Huh? [glug] 446 00:19:51,066 --> 00:19:55,027 That tea took three hours to brew! 447 00:19:55,114 --> 00:19:56,724 [growls] 448 00:19:56,811 --> 00:20:00,119 - Huh? - Eat scones, ya flabby pappy! 449 00:20:00,206 --> 00:20:02,251 - Uh-oh! [grunts] 450 00:20:02,338 --> 00:20:04,906 [screams] 451 00:20:04,993 --> 00:20:06,908 [grunts] 452 00:20:06,995 --> 00:20:10,608 [moans] 453 00:20:10,695 --> 00:20:12,392 [cheers and applause] - Thank you! 454 00:20:12,479 --> 00:20:14,568 Thank you so much! 455 00:20:14,655 --> 00:20:17,005 - Baby, you're the greatest! 456 00:20:17,092 --> 00:20:19,051 all: Aww. 457 00:20:19,138 --> 00:20:23,577 both: And now, the magic of time-lapse photography! 458 00:20:28,800 --> 00:20:30,976 both: Whee! - Whoo-hoo! 459 00:20:31,063 --> 00:20:34,240 - Ready for our big ending, big brother? 460 00:20:34,327 --> 00:20:35,763 - I'm ready! 461 00:20:35,850 --> 00:20:39,027 But I forgot where I put it. all: Aww. 462 00:20:39,114 --> 00:20:42,161 - Well, it's gotta be around here somewhere. 463 00:20:42,248 --> 00:20:44,424 - Ending! Here, ending! - Here, ending, ending! 464 00:20:44,511 --> 00:20:45,643 - Ending. - Come on, ending. 465 00:20:45,730 --> 00:20:46,644 - Come on, ending, ending, ending. 466 00:20:46,731 --> 00:20:49,255 - Come out. Come out. 467 00:20:49,342 --> 00:20:51,649 - ? Where are you, ending? Where are you, ending? ? 468 00:20:51,736 --> 00:20:53,564 ? We're all looking for you ? 469 00:20:53,651 --> 00:20:55,261 ? Where did you go? ? 470 00:20:55,348 --> 00:20:59,221 ? Our finale's pending without an ending ? 471 00:20:59,308 --> 00:21:02,660 ? If we can't find it, we can't end the show! ? 472 00:21:02,747 --> 00:21:05,097 ? Yeah ? [laughter] 473 00:21:05,184 --> 00:21:07,969 - Hey! Why don't we just fast forward to the end of the show 474 00:21:08,056 --> 00:21:10,232 and get to the celebrity guest? 475 00:21:10,319 --> 00:21:12,539 - Great idea, Patrick! 476 00:21:12,626 --> 00:21:14,149 - [grunts] - [growls] 477 00:21:14,236 --> 00:21:15,411 - [grunts] 478 00:21:15,499 --> 00:21:17,892 - [howls] 479 00:21:17,979 --> 00:21:19,938 all: Aww... 480 00:21:20,025 --> 00:21:22,854 - Well, where's the big celebrity guest? 481 00:21:22,941 --> 00:21:24,769 - [panting] I'm sorry I'm late! 482 00:21:24,856 --> 00:21:26,640 I was locked in the bathroom! 483 00:21:26,727 --> 00:21:28,990 - Wait a barnacle, 484 00:21:29,077 --> 00:21:34,039 if you're the real Patrick, then who are you? 485 00:21:34,126 --> 00:21:37,303 - It's me, Bootsy Collins, baby. 486 00:21:37,390 --> 00:21:39,479 And I'm just filling in for Patrick, yeah. 487 00:21:39,566 --> 00:21:40,741 - Why, thank you, 488 00:21:40,828 --> 00:21:43,527 internationally famous celebrity person! 489 00:21:43,614 --> 00:21:46,007 - Today's magic word is-- 490 00:21:46,094 --> 00:21:47,400 - Don't say it! 491 00:21:47,487 --> 00:21:49,097 all: Explosion! 492 00:21:49,184 --> 00:21:50,925 [boom] 493 00:21:51,012 --> 00:21:52,492 [laughter] 494 00:21:52,579 --> 00:21:54,015 - I told 'em not to say it. 495 00:21:57,192 --> 00:22:00,892 - [laughs] 496 00:22:00,979 --> 00:22:03,808 - Oh, I can see my house from here! 497 00:22:06,462 --> 00:22:09,335 [upbeat music] 498 00:22:09,422 --> 00:22:16,603 ? ? 499 00:22:16,653 --> 00:22:21,203 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0